I'm soaked in sin
I can't let You in
My fear overtakes me
But please don't let me be
I need Your help
To do away with thoughts of 'self'
I need hope for a new day
Please take my fear away
I need to know you care
That you will teach me how to share
My heart with others and with You
For You are everything
And I am Yours
Right after I wrote this, God led me to Psalm 73:21-26. It says:
When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
Whom have I in heaven but you?
And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart
and my portion forever.
Wow. So I could go on and on about what God is teaching me, but the short version is this: He loves me, and He is not going anywhere. When my heart hurts, He is there holding my hand. When I sin, and constantly think about myself, or feel sorry for myself, or don't surrender my life to Him, He is still there. All I have to do is turn to Him and say forgive me, I need help, make me more and more like You. And He will.
I also feel like God is teaching me that I will mess up, and that I will hold onto things that I shouldn't. But you know what, that doesn't change who God is and that He has chosen me. So I say right now from the bottom of my heart, He is everything, and I am HIS.